You know I recently realized something. It's so easy to make good choices when things are going smoothly. One good choice leads to another, you start seeing results, and life is good. Ahhh, but doesn't it always seem like that's when God throws in the wrench and requires dependence on HIM? Requires us to lean on HIM and not go running back to our old habits and ways?
I've been doing really well lately. But it seems that after a couple of days of doing well, I need a reminder of my need for my Savior. Today has been one of those days. It's just been a struggle. I'm tired, crabby, and unmotivated. To add to it all, my hubby found out that a bonus that was promised to be on Friday's paycheck will be delayed for weeks to months. Ugh. That was our spending money for our upcoming vacation to Disney World. As soon as I got off the phone with him, I felt those old feelings coming flooding back. Oh how I wished I had a bag of chips, or a 1-pound bag of peanut butter M&M's to munch on while I pondered everything. I wanted a way to escape even thinking about the situation! But I couldn't. And that even made me more frustrated.
After a few moments of stewing, I realized God's voice was nudging me, trying to get through to me. Faced with a choice, I had to make the right one. I was so aware of that choice, and I knew what God wanted me to do. "Crave ME." That's what that voice kept saying. After all, I had spent my quiet time this morning reading exactly that. And so I started praying. And kept praying. I wish I could say the desire to sin has passed. It really hasn't, it's just lessened. And I'm learning to go to the Lord with my problems instead of my cupboard. I know there will be more days like this, but I also know that by keeping my heart open to God, sweet victory will be mine in the end.
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